Not our fault

by Mmiliaku Genevieve

~We get raped in a night club;

People: Why did you go there?

What were you expecting?

Decent girls don't go to club.

You asked for it.

~We get raped in our male neighbour's house, male friend's house or boyfriend's house;

People: What were you looking for in a man's house?

You must have seduced him, now you want to ruin his life.

But you guys are dating and have had sex before so what's different with this one, why are you complaining?

How can you keep bone where a dog is and expect him not to eat it?

Why didn't you shout?

Why did you visit him if you didn't want it?

~We are grabbed and raped while coming home from work in the evening or while walking down a lonely street;

People: Why were you out late?

What were you wearing?

Why did you go out alone?

~We get gang raped by armed robbers;

People: Don't let anyone hear about this because it will ruin your reputation.

No man will want to marry you if he knows you were raped, you are now a damaged good.

Sorry just forget about it, God will judge them.

~We get raped by our husbands

People: He paid your parents for you so he has the right to have sex with you whenever he wants.

If you refuse he'll do it by force.

He owns you.

Our law doesn't recognize spousal rape, a man can't rape his wife.

Next time he wants sex give it to him or he'll take you by force.

He has needs and it's your duty as his wife to satisfy him wherever he wants.

~We get raped or sexually harassed at work;

People: It's because of how you dress and carry yourself.

You complain too much, get over it.

You are not the first, quit if you can't stand it.

After all there are millions of unemployed people waiting to grab the opportunity.

~We get raped by an ex or a man we turned down his advances

People: You must have been rude to him for him to want to teach you a lesson and humble you.

How much of his money did you enjoy?

He was only collecting his debt.

~We get raped by a religious leader;

People: "Touch not my anointed..."

Leave it for God to judge.

Please don't allow the devil use you to fight God's servant.

Forgive and forget, it is well.

~We get raped in our home by a relative or close family friend;

People: Shhhhh!

Never talk about it.

Let this be a family secret.

Do you want to ruin our family name?

Do you want to ruin his life, your brother's life?

~Recently a 22 year-old lady was brutally raped and murdered in Edo state, inside a church where she normally goes to read.

People: Who reads in a church?

She has not said what she goes there to do.

Why was she there alone?

If she didn't fight back she'll be alive, is it not just sex?

She must have upset those guys so they followed her and dealt with her.


I'm just hearing that a 12 year-old girl was gang raped today in Jigawa state by 11 me

12 year-old, 11 men, can you imagine the horror?

Worse is that over 95 percent of these rapists are walking free, no justice.

Yet if we talk they will call us man haters and bitter feminists.


Where is safe for the females in Nigeria, especially the girl child?


Someone tell me, please.

When will our voices be heard and laws made and followed to protect us and our rights?

When will men stop raping, violating and hurting us?

When will we be free to live our lives without being afraid that men will attack us?

When will society stop blaming us for the injustice and brutality we experience?

When will society stop trying to stifle us

Is it a crime to be born a female?

Why must we always have to fight to be seen, heard, protected, treated right and just be? Why does it have to hurt so much to be a female?








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